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Attack! PMDD

Any day now and I will be on the other side.  Since I’ve been #decidedlySane one action at a time in the moments within the cycle of PMDD I’ve been busy. I thought I was in the clear.  I thought that perhaps this month I would not want to die. I thought…I’d might be fucking normal.  I’m having a hard time.  The act of writing this is painful to me.  I am trying to push through.  I am having a hard time breathing through. Pressing buttons,  ugh! I feel like I am being pressed.  I feel like one of these little black keys lit from behind. Which button would I be?  I’d like to be “DELETE”It’s taken me one hour to write this and I want to slam my computer against the wall…

Self Care Check List:

I slept 7 hours last night.
I washed my hair
I wore mascara and lipstick
I drank only one real cup of coffee
I drank a lot of water
I meditated
I actually went to work and pretended to work in between really productive moments
I attempted to communicate with my friends
I avoided difficult thought provoking conversations.

In this moment I am miserable.   Who knows what the next moment will bring, but it does give me a sense of hope and joy to know that I pushed through these past near 2 hours now to write this.

I’m actually feeling a bit fulfilled.
#decidedlySane