I originally posted this yesterday from my iPhone and there were some tweaks that needed to be made for clarity and in keepng with my authentic self…I need to be ok with what I publish and my head was a little foggy…today I am waiting for my guests to arrive and ok with the reblog. Thanks #DecidedlySane


I’m constantly deciding to look for some semblance of sanity. I feel tortured by the constant effort it takes to be high spirited and positive. I really am struggling to get past the second guessing of which thing to do on my to do list. My driving in circles around mall parking lots searching for the widest space to pull into because I feel the need for more space and my strolling down aisle after aisle half witted picking ingredients for a dinner for six at my home is sheer insanity. 

I don't have to do this alone. I don’t have to do this alone.

Why do I host a party in the middle of PMDD? I do this because despite the sense of indifference I feel in this moment towards anyone who cares about me. I know it’s not real and my friends will get on just fine while I coast on the role of hostess…

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