I am exhausted and have taken many naps this weekend. I am completely overwhelmed with trying to figure out my life: next steps in my career. I am unhappy with where I am today because I have this desire to better. Always better. I feel like I should be further along. In fact, I know I should be. While I would love to blame PMDD for taking my life hostage for three and a half years, I also know that I should really be grateful that I am even alive to host this rant about the state of my existence.
PMDD is very much still a huge part of my life and the message of this month’s PMDD is, “Lizette, you just aren’t making the cut.” I am begging that little voice to shut up. I use the tools that I’ve learned along the way to manage: meditation, rest (lots of naps this weekend) and exercise. Even still, I can’t fully shake these feelings of inadequacy. I know this will pass. It always does and as I write this, I am amazed that my will, desire to be better and my passion to thrive are what are battling the little voice! These feelings are reminiscent of “me” before PMDD.
Before this entry I hadn’t been able to write. I barely exercised this week. I felt like the perpetually spinning pinwheel…my connection to my inner light…slow.
#decidelySane is a movement…I’m going to be fine. Write it down, let it go and move on.