This PMDD had me a little confused about my feelings and what course of actions to take in response to the numerous disappointments of the month. Instead of bullying my way through PMDD, I traversed different paths with no prisoners. Instead of pushing myself to write, I sat in silence or I read. Instead of pushing myself to wake up early and be on the move, I slept in whenever I could. Instead of making plans to make sure I wasn’t isolating, I walked the city and allowed myself to linger around different circles of friends. I basically simply decided to enjoy life, despite my PMDD.
In myPMDD the wind in my hair used to make me rage, however, now that I have allowed myself to drift along, there is very little rage. Bikram has definitley helped mitigate that rage. Holding poses in such great degrees of heat acts as an opposing force that ironically creates quite the perfect storm. There are moments when it feels like my pmdd is melting away from me and onto the mat. It’s glorious!
However tenacious this affliction is; betwixt emotions I am not clinging on to or to pushing anything along. I am self-aware and maintaining a sense of calm and inner peace. I let it all go into the wind that no longer bothers me as it is relentless as is my desire to be decidedlySane.